That my cousin is tweleve, was born here and can’t speak English correctly. But I guess it’s her dislexyia(?) and the fact that she hates homework and reading. Hm…

NEW FAVORITE MOVIE.

So it’s Christmas, and Merry Christmas to you and your families. But anyways, it’s Christmas and I don’t feel super excentrict or that  happy for that matter. I mean, when it comes down to why I’m not that happy; I can’t tell you. It just doesn’t feel like Christmas to me. It feels like…just any other day where I get like one or two gifts that I really won’t use much. It’s sad. Not that I want self pitty or pitty from others; but when I look on what other people want…I tend to get envious. For once I want something that makes me tear; or something that makes me go crazy and just jump around…but it hasn’t happened yet. I’m thankful, I really am. I’m thankful that during this recession; I still get money from my family even if we’re all in tight situations. Seriously, I’m hoping my birthday tops this off because I really don’t want to relive my sixteenth birthday all over again. Ugh, maybe it’s just me and I’m retarded; but I really don’t feel like this is Christmas and I got my hopes up for nothing. Maybe, things will brighten up; but for now…It feels like this is what my last Christmas in the States is going to be like. It’s going to be a rerun of this years.

— Anyways, that was very pessimistic and the holidays don’t feel like the holidays. But I hope that you bloggers got what you wanted this year and I hope that you and your families are safe and happy. God bless you guys and happy birthday baby Jesus!

And I’m starting to get tired of it. I hate how you’re on my mind constantly, I hate that I worry over you and hope that you’re not being reckless; but seriously…I worry that you’re just going to do the same thing with everything. This has been going on for months already and you’re still not at a full understanding if I mean anything to you. If I’m worth it. Seriously, people never do something that they’re fully sure of because there would be no thrill, no adventure. But with you, it’s a whole other story. I just hope that eventually, you’ll know why I spent my nights stressing over you and why I’ve held back tears.

I can’t fall in love with you, instead of him. You understand me more and you make me feel…special.

A couple things to some people:

- JPYL: Thank you. I read your blog about feeling unthanked by everyone because they just “use” you for your comfort. I want to thank you because you’ve been there for me as a bestfriend since I met you. You’ve been such a great friend to me & I’m thankful for that, because you’re the one person who I know I can turn on to be there for me. I love you best, thanks!

- WLM: I miss you. I feel like even though we’re not “bests” anymore, we could be friends; but it hardly even feels like we’re friends. At school it feels like you purposly ignore me & it’s starting to make me question if our friendship weakened so much that we can’t withstand the troubles ahead. I miss when I was able to confide in you with all my deepest troubles; where crying to you wasn’t just crying on the phone. It was crying to someone who understood me for just a second. You were my bestfriend & now it feels lik I can’t even speak to you without feeling insecure about something. Our conversations die out easy & it’s hard to find something that we both can keep talking about; but it seems that we can’t anymore.

- APR: Ugh, where to begin with you? I’m deeply in love with you & you can’t even tell. It’s like, no matter what you’re somewhat naive to what I’m saying. I know what our situation is & I know how everything is complicated; but for once I wish you get what I say or what I mean. Explaining things to you sometimes get’s hard, but I put up with it because you mean a lot to me. I hate the ristrictions & the insecurities I go through; but what can I do? I have no option. Sometimes I question if I’m being stupid for sticking around; but for what I feel…I don’t feel stupid. I want to stick around; I just want you to meet me half way. For someone who’s generally impatient; you’re my execption.

- DDD: I feel like I owe you a huge ‘thank you’. Ever since we’ve been friends, we’ve been pretty good at talking about what we have on our minds. You’re a great friend & I’m thankful that I have you there. Thanks for everything!

* There’s more; but these were ones that were on my mind the most. Anyways; Happy Holidays to you & your family! (:

You’re so complicated sometimes!

Secret (;

jeffbarrera:

freshandsokleen:

ryansantos:

vannnyy:

itsthischris:

yannfatlikehippo:

vivienbby:

(via ilovechiinkygirls)